A few members of the AdvoCare marketing team recently sat down with our good friend, Judi Holler. In addition to being a keynote speaker, author, improviser and all-around amazing entrepreneur, Judi’s an incredible resource to turn to and find words of wisdom. Here’s what she had to share about a topic that’s big with us now: Transformation. Watch below or read the transcript to see what she shared!
Want to hear more from Judi? Check out her podcast, Yes, And, and make sure to visit her website, JudiHoller.com. You can also follow her on IG @JudiHoller.
If you want to hear even more helpful info on Transformation, checkout our free virtual event, You’ve Got This!
Video Transcript:
JUDI: Hi AdvoCare! I just love what you guys are up to, and I feel so good. I had a great workout today and had a little pre workout. So, I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty feeling pretty high vibe right now and I’ve got sequins on. It’s going to be a minute. Buckle up, guys, you’re in for it, but I love that. We’re starting here because there’s a couple of things to unpack here. So I think the first part of your question was, really about, “How did you know? And how did you kind of discover all these avenues and new things?” And I think what’s really important to understand is the only way I was able to write an interesting book, or the only way I’m able to give interesting talks or tell interesting stories or create interesting things is that my number one job is to go live an interesting life.
But I think when you live an interesting life and you look at every problem, every tough conversation, every icky decision, every disappointment, every failure, every risk, everything that goes right, everything that goes wrong as a potential opportunity to teach, share, and grow, you then have really cool conversations that you can have with other people. So, one of the things I get asked all the time is like, how do you write a book? And how did you know what to write a book about? I’m like, “Go live an interesting life.” That’s what makes authors really interesting. My whole book is rooted, I mean it’s certainly a book about fear and befriending fear, but my whole perspective on fear was built in an improv classroom.
So, it was in me doing it anyways. Opening the door to an improv classroom, despite being completely terrified by being 30 years old, and feeling like I was super old, despite everybody telling me that I was crazy despite having a full-time career. Having that interesting adventure gave me a really interesting story to tell. If you’re watching this right now, if you want to do interesting things, if you want to have interesting sales calls, conversations, presentations, go create interesting things in the world, and even have interesting dinner conversations, then go be interested and go do new things. You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone. You’ve got to leave your comfort zone, and that is step number one. I think me getting really comfortable in uncomfortable places has s opened up a lot of opportunity. So that’s part one.
ADVOCARE: Okay, I think it’s important to note that the first time you signed up for the improv class, you didn’t go. I don’t know if you remember that story?
JUDI: Yes! I quit. I love that you remember that story!
ADVOCARE: Yes, you bounced!
JUDI: I paid and I signed up and they don’t give you your money back. So, I forfeited the money, and I paid for the whole semester. But I got all the way there and literally lied. It was like, oh, my gosh! You know they’re like, “Ma’am I’m sorry. Are you in the wrong place? Can we help you?” And I was like, “Oh, there was a Starbucks in the lobby. I’ve gotten turned around,” And I lied. Isn’t that stupid? And it took me 2 years to go back. I was 32 when I went back. A lot of times, people ask me after my keynotes, because I tell that story on stage and my talk everyday improviser, and they’ll go, “What made you go back” You know? 2 years later I go. Well, a couple of things. If you are moving through a lot of fear and doubt, and anxiety, or self-sabotage, this is where we really have to level up what we’re listening to, who’s in our circle, and what we’re reading and I was reading a lot of the right stuff. I started listening to a lot of the right people, and I had a bad a ensemble around me my friends, my mentors, my people, just sort of reminding me of my power, that I’m ready, that I’m worthy, that I was right where I was supposed to be, and I’ll be okay if it doesn’t work out. I think if you’re moving through doubt, this is where you really want to level up what you’re reading, what you’re listening to, and who you’re surrounding yourself with. That’s really what got me back, mixed with a little Beyonce on repeat. Brene Brown was on my shelf with you know Seth Godin, Marie Forleo and Steven Pressfield. Just reading and listening to a lot of the right people that’s what got me back at 32. I love that you brought that.
ADVOCARE: That’s awesome. I love it and you clearly made so many different changes in your life. I’m curious. What are some of the things that held you back before you made certain changes, even, you know, leaving your job in sales to become a speaker and author? All of these incredible things. What do you think are the things that hold people back from making changes in their life? You talked a little bit about fear. How do you work through fear?
JUDI: That’s the thing about fear is we need to work with it. I think the misnomer is everybody thinks we need to get rid of it like we need to be fearless, and that is so wrong. I hate the word fearless because it confuses us. We don’t want to be fearless.
If we were fearless, we do crazy stuff. We would never take our vitamins. We never go to a doctor. We would never pay our taxes. We would eat poisonous foods on purpose. We would walk down dark alleys alone at night by yourself, and there’s this great book by Elizabeth Gilbert, if you haven’t read it. Pair it with my book Fear Is My Homeboy and you’ll be ready to rock. It’s a book called Big Magic and Elizabeth Gilbert says in the book she goes, “The only fearless people I know are 5-year-olds and socio paths.” So, no, you don’t want to be like a 5 year old. We don’t want to be 5. To answer your question, we don’t need to be fearless. But, what we do need to do is get ourselves off autopilot. So many times, we do the same things, the same way, with the same people. We do the same things we’ve always done, and then we wonder why nothing’s changing. We wonder why we’re miserable, and we’re stuck, and we’re irritable, and we’re stressed out and we’re taking it out on all the people we love. We’ve got to wake up. We’ve got to get off autopilot. I think there are 2 shifts we could make. Number one. The problem is that we all think we have time.
We’re all waiting for some day. Some day when the kids retire. Someday when I lose the weight. Some day when I have more money. Some day, when you know, I get married. Some day when I have this boss or live in that city. How about this one? Some day when I have time.
And I know, Hannah, you’re a mom. Rebecca, are you a mom?
ADVOCARE: Yes!
JUDI: So like, hi like our lives completely, multiple businesses okay. There will never be enough time, right? So what if today became our legacy? What if we focused today on who we need to become tomorrow in order to get what you want. I think this is the answer to kind of even the beginning, the very first question, and the second question, because what we need to understand is what got us here and where we are today, with all the blessings we have, it’s not going to get us there. It’s awesome. It’s important. I honor it. I’m so grateful for the journey. But it ain’t going to get me there. So, you are going to have to confront the parts of you that are coming with you to where you want to go, and you can have anything you want. But it’s going to cost you the person you are now, and that is scary.
I started with a personal trainer a year ago. Let me give you an example. I knew I wanted to do that mainly because I was so tired of my own bs like I had worked out. I had a Peloton, and I had a fitness practice. But I wasn’t lifting. And how do you do it? And how do you do it safely? And then oh, by the way, the gym, the weights! How do I use them? How do I not hurt myself? Why is everybody staring at me? No one’s really looking. Are they looking at me? Should I be taking supplements? What do I wear? Do I need weight gloves? I’m so scared. This is awful. So you just don’t do it. You do this again, autopilot. I show up. I do the cardio, and then I wonder why, nothing’s changing. But my husband had always been saying to me like lifting weights is going to change your life. Lifting weights, just start small. And so there was a guy in Ohio at the time, we’re working together virtually now as I try to find a gym because I think having an in-person experience is important. Really, maybe we can also talk next about the guilt some of us feel in investing in ourselves in this way? Whether it’s buying supplements or hiring a trainer, or getting the good work out pants that make you feel good, and I’m not alone there’s so much guilt, right? But, I knew I wanted to do it, and so I’m saying to myself – and this is a transformational question – who do I have to become in order to get that? I was thinking about myself today, a year from now. Judy with some definition, Judy with some muscles, Judy with a lower body fast, that Judy with more energy, Judy potentially off antidepressants. Judy happier, Judy, more confident right?
Who do I have to become to be this girl, this woman, this person that lifts?
How does she walk? How does she talk? What does she wear? What podcast is she listening to? What does she read? What kind of people is she talking to? What is she talking about? What kind of questions does she ask? What does she eat? What supplements does she take? This is when I started going down the rabbit hole. I started switching from like the Spark, and I still use it all and am super obsessed with Spark and Rehydrate to an AdvoCare perspective. I remember being scared on your website going. Okay. Work out supplements. What are these? Biofuel, that sounded terrifying to me. I’m like, what does that mean? But then you just show up the first day. Yes show up the first day. Show up the second day. Show up the third day. And here we are a year and a month later, and I have completely transformed my life. I’ve gotten off SSRIs, and I’ve gone down two sizes. I’ve reduced my body fat tremendously. I maintain my weight. I’m becoming a fat burning machine. I’ve now built a practice that helps me not only lift heavy in the gym, but bonus, I can lift heavier in life. Like that’s the thing nobody tells you about really taking good care of yourself and weightlifting. So, I’m a big advocate for it, advocate for weights right now, because I just find that when I lift heavy in the gym, I see really big results, and that takes time, and certainly a personal trainer to guide you through it so you don’t get hurt, but I’m finding that I also can live heavier in life like I can have harder conversations, and I advocate for myself faster, and I speak up more, and I just feel tougher all around.
But that required me to step into, ok, who is she? I was almost acting as if I was her before I had even gotten to the gym, so that I could be ready for that first day in the gym, and I’ve done it with my keynote business. I’ve done it with becoming an author. I’ve done it with leaving sales going into entrepreneurship, and now I’m doing it with the evolution of House of & and where that brand is going next year. Who is this thing I want to create in the world? Who is she? And how does she dress? And what are the choices she makes, and who does she listen to? And what does she do? And of course she’s in the gym. What is she listening to when she’s in the gym? These are all things that really, really matter in the long run. And, last point, It’s also giving yourself the permission to do it.
You can have every excuse in the world, but some day is not a day on the calendar. Today is your legacy and the choices you make today determine who you’re going to be tomorrow, if we’re lucky enough to get it. I’ll always thinking about little eighty-year-old Judy, like every time I do the hard thing in the gym, or do the hard thing at work, and I make the sales call or earn the money I’m thinking about like oh, I’m setting myself up for like that future. Every time I left a weight, little 80 year old Judy is thanking me for that, and every time I pick up the phone and make sales call for my business, my team is thanking me for that. My future is thanking me for that right? I’m thanking me for that. So those are some of my thoughts on what I think is holding people back, and really how we can get ourselves off of autopilot with who do you have to become to get what you want, and you can have anything you want, but it’s going to cost you. It’s going to cost you the person you are now, and that can feel really scary. But, it’s oh so worth it.
ADVOCARE: I love that you talked about lifting heavy in the gym, and then being able to have these tougher, harder conversations outside in your professional setting…. If you have your gym routine, whether you’re working out, you’re taking your supplements. You have your schedule. It builds some sort of like discipline and resiliency in you, and you really do feel like you can do anything, you know, I really do think it helps boost that confidence in all areas of your life. It’s like you look good, you feel good, However, it works. Yeah, they off each other, but that’s just that made me think of that.
So, you mentioned “permission” to do all of these things. so, you talked a little bit about it, and you always say you know old keys won’t open new doors. We have this key of permission. you know. What are you giving yourself permission to do? And then when it came to hiring that trainer like, how did you give yourself that permission? And what did that feel like for you?
JUDI: Okay, I love this so much. I actually wrote a whole newsletter on this recently, because I got a message from a community member. You mentioned it, we did a monthly mentorship, and it’s just been such a rewarding experience. This is our last month, and I’ve gotten to meet a lot of incredible women. And in October one of the questions came up, and it was right in this line of thinking. And this is what she said. I’ll share it with you, she said “to me. She goes….
”Okay, here’s the deal I’ve got a toddler. I’ve got a newborn. I’ve got a supportive spouse and I work full-time.”
I’m looking at 2 women who might be in that same category. You can relate right? So, she says, “I continue to find myself at the bottom of my own list. but I’m ready to make a change. I’m watching you work with your trainer and do all these things, and I’m just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I want to get in shape Post baby.” and she was like sort of looking for motivation, and here’s what I believe to be true: Any new habit that we are trying to build for ourselves, whether it be weight loss, or starting a business, or finding love, or writing a book, or setting the boundaries we need in order to do our actual work and live our actual lives is really what you’re talking about here, and the question you’re asking me is about permission, the permission to prioritize ourselves, and not feel guilty about it.
I said to her, “I grant you permission to be an incredible mom and still get in the best shape of your life to be a great mom, and spend money on a trainer. You can be a great mom and take time for yourself.”
Having kids, and you guys know this, it’s an awesome season to be in, and it’s also a season that’s going to take a lot of energy. And the one thing I know for sure about working out and having excellent health and using Spark and Rehydrate and all the supplements is, it’s going to give you the energy you need to run around with those kiddos and to do it for a long time. So yes, you’re doing it for you and doing it for them.
So a conversation then enveloped around this notion of Yes, and. And most importantly, Choice. Because a lot of us think we need to choose, and you don’t. You can be an incredible mom, and still want time alone.
You can be a CEO and take long vacations where you don’t check your email. You can be a team player and say no without guilt. You can be a great, best friend and set boundaries with your time.
You could be a loving wife, and want to get away and be alone, right?
You could be sweet and savage, scared and brave, confident and nervous, ready and apprehensive, excited and anxious, soft and strong.
Why do we think we have to pick?
It is a balance. And you said the key word there, Hannah. It is Discipline. And sometimes we have to do the inconvenient stuff. It may feel inconvenient at the time, in order to earn the comfort we want. But the good news is, the more you do this, the easier it gets because you start feeling so good. And so, it’s been fun to watch Kaylee transform and really start to prioritize herself and say, “I don’t care what the mom’s in the carpool line think, I don’t care what my neighbor thinks. Oh, look at her spending money on her trainer, or oh, look at her doing this, or look at her taking a solo vacation without her husband. How dare she!” Right? Why don’t we study women like that? like stop hating, start studying, start studying people who do really good with boundaries, who do really good at self- prioritization. Study people who tell you no and do so without guilt. I envy it because I’m like a recovering people pleaser, so I work on this so hard. Like I don’t want anybody, you know, My God, God forbid! Somebody gets mad at me.
You know what I mean like, and then I end up just freaking overwhelmed, and overwhelmed is a choice yo. So I love this question, and that’s sort of the story, and I guess the lesson is “both, and”, you know, permission Granted. You don’t… you can have both, and. You can be a great mom and invest in yourself, it’s okay.
Even if you don’t have the capital, I think you can start at home, and you can start small. We all do. And I just think the keyword there is starting.
So, get your first yes, and then the next, and it all begins. You don’t need to know all the things. Just what’s the next thing I can do, you know.
ADVOCARE: I love talking about discipline, too, and getting into, you know, those small little habits that create that long term change because there’s freedom in that discipline, too, because that’s kind of where you get that permission to include that, “And” in your identity, and not just put yourself in that box, so I just I love it all.
JUDI: I love it. One of my favorite… My real favorite F word: freedom. That’s what I’m in the game of right, I’m in the game of freedom. Freedom to do work I love, the way I want, with people like you that rock. That is like the biggest blessing in my life. Like that’s all I want to continue to do is just live in that lane in life. And that does require, you know, us to sometimes do the inconvenient things in order to earn the freedom, we want. But I love that you mentioned that word, Rebecca, because that is a good way to live life. You know it’s called life; shouldn’t we be living it?
ADVOCARE: Totally. I would love to hear your thoughts on how people can stay motivated once they start on the journey of transformation. And you again just continue to do this over the years from, you know, focusing on building, ‘Haus of &’, and then now transitioning into basically building your own brand, which is incredible. So, how have you stayed motivated through the continuous transformations in your life?
JUDI: Oh, my gosh, 2 things. Very tactical, and will be massive life changers.
Number one: Instead of – I’ve suffered from anxiety most of my life. I think it’s a ‘hollergy’ rooted way deep in my family history. Down the family tree. Most of us are pretty anxious. It’s a lot. It’s a Some of this is just deeply ingrained into childhood wounds, and the way we were raised and all that stuff, so work on it super hard. And one of the things that keeps me out of anxiety and in action, which is why I loved improv so much, because it told me I can make mistakes improv reminded me like, “I can fail. I can make mistakes. I can get it wrong. I can build my courage muscle, and I don’t need to have all the answers. All I need is the next thing.”
So yes, you’ve received disappointing news or a diagnosis, or there’s a loss or something tough you’re moving through. Great. What’s the next thing I can do?
Yes. This is happening. And, what is the next step I can take? I don’t need to know all the steps. I need a crystal ball. I maybe need a disco ball to remind me that I’m not broken. That I’m a magical ball of light. We are broken. It’s just a bunch of shards of glass put together into a magical ball of light. I mean, that’s us. That’s what we are, right? We’re all mirrors for each other, and so the more I share what I’m going through, the more it reminds you that okay, if I can do it, you can do it, and we’re all meant to shine, okay?
Okay, so how can I? I don’t need a crystal ball. I got my disco ball. But what can I do next? So that’s number one.
Number 2. What can I do Right? What could go right?
I think so many times, we focus on all the stuff that can go wrong. I’m in this right now. I have a massive business decision I need to make, and it is like keeping me up at night, plus, yesterday was the full moon, the final full moon of the year.
I don’t know if anybody gets into that stuff, but oooh it was wicked out there, and it was, I felt it. I felt the energies, the shifts. This is about letting go, and really stepping into who we want to become. Okay, Woo-woo stuff aside. I was worried about all this stuff, where people just like tuned out. get rid of this girl. What is she talking about the moon. Okay. But come back to me.
Now, this is the point that’s going to matter. People get so worried about all the stuff that’s going to go wrong. It’s going to rob your joy, steal your energy, take your focus away, and remember our fortune is in our focus.
So, what if we became obsessed with what could go right? So, I pinned last night at like 11 PM, full blown ‘if I say no’ to this thing, which I’m really scared to say no to…. What could go right? What could open up? What could I become, what could I do, what could I create? Would Oprah call me? Can I get on the ‘Today’ show? Oh, my God, who would I need? What would I do? I mean, I’m saying, Get crazy here, and then take that What could go right list, and put it everywhere you can see it. I used my little copier, It’s now a screen saver on my phone. It is taped to the dash of my car. It is here in my mirror, It’s here in my office, it’s here in my mirror in my bathroom.
What could go right? What could go right? What could go right?
Staying in the way of what could go right is a powerful way to move through doubt, because we forget all the stuff that could go right, because we’re way too worried about the stuff that could go wrong. And 99.9 of this time, all the stuff you think could go wrong never will. That’s called borrowing trouble.
ADVOCARE: That leads to our last question. What are your biggest goals for 2023? if you can share any of them.
JUDI: Well, my word of the year is ‘simplify’. So, I’m thinking deeply about… Well, my word of the year was going to be gains. Gains, right, like I want to gain muscles and money, and wealth and abundance, and health and business and clients and stages. Gains baby, Gains baby, Gains… And then all of a sudden, my dear old friend, anxiety went like this, knocked on the door of my office. And She was like, “Oh, yay! I can’t wait to work with you again. We’re gonna have so much fun this year. And I’m like, oh, yeah, that is, that is actually not what I want at all.
How about this? Yeah, Sit down. Thank you for being here, Anxiety. I talked to anxiety exactly like, I do fear, because anxiety is fear. And so I said to her, I said, okay, nope, it’s not going to be gains. It’s going to be simplified. And I’m going to think about what I need to subtract in order to add what I want in my life. So if I want to, do what I really want to do with Haus of &, then, what needs to go away in order for that to happen, if I really want to get on?
You know the love of my life is speaking for a living. I’m a keynote speaker. So, if I want to be on certain stages and really scale that business the way I want, I’ve got a new talk, a new website coming out, like great. What needs to go away in order for me to keep that the main thing.
So, simplify is my word, so that is on my mind as a big goal. But I think it’s simple for me. In 2023 I want to continue to get better every single day, and work with awesome people. Like, that’s what I want to do. I want to get better every day. Yeah, I have a lot to learn, and I want to continue to work with people like you. Just incredible companies that are inspiring, and high vibe, and healthy, and abundantly driven, and making the world a better place, because that’s what I intend to do.
And so, I think, in closing like this business decision, I’m reckoning with it doesn’t feel it feels it doesn’t feel expansive working with you feels expansive. And I feel very restricted. I feel in my body, I feel it in my gut, I feel anxiety. I feel controlled. I feel scared. I feel fear. Red flag, red flag, red flag. So I think a great parting word is any decision you need to make this year and beyond, whether you’re negotiating the price of your house, or negotiating with, you know, a school, or trying to do something like a teacher or bringing on a new partnership or finding a new babysitter, or whatever the thing they all these choices we have to make. Things are going to either feel expansive or they’re going to feel like, oh, really restricted. Like you just want to crawl inside your body. Listen to that. Listen to it and be brave enough to know that you are right where you’re supposed to be, and you hold the key.
Right. You hold the key, the key that will unlock any new door. You hold it. You know what you need to do. But I always say, if you’re feeling expansive, lean into it, and if you’re feeling like those heebie jeebies, they’re happening for a reason.